is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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