We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
