i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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