I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize