I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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