So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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