Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
