Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
