Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
