Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
