if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
