So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
