so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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