Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
