I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
