Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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