My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I think I sprained my soul last night
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
