we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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