cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
