Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
