why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
i've created a new STD.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
