what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
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