Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I can't turn off my feet"
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Can you repeat that, but with context?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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