suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize