i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
