Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
