FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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