Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
