Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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