operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
