whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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