stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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