these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
