and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
