Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
