Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
