there's paper in my vomit.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
