ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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