im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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