Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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