Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Randomize
