hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
