last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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