the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
