Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Everyone says I win the strip club
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
