we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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