THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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