remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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