no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I need moral support for this bender
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
