We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize