Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
