you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize