She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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