Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Randomize
