so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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