plz talk dirty to me
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
