Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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