If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
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