i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
