I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
