Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize