i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
