like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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